As many of you know, a movie is being produced about Tucker Max's life. This movie is supposed to be based on Tucker's stories which have been posted on his website and described in his I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell book. According to Tucker Max, the stories he writes about himself are true even if he is unable to corroborate most of the important details. I am certain that Tucker will claim that 95% of the details in his movie are true, although I doubt that would draw much fanfare. A movie truly based 95% on his real-life events would probably involve two hours of him sitting in front of his computer masturbating to porn while eating a big bag of Doritos. Tucker claims to have somehow managed to find a producer willing to invest $6 million dollars in his film. I do not know how he managed to swing that, but I doubt this movie will do well. He was supposed to have a TV show on Comedy Central a few years ago, but his material was so bad that he was quickly dropped. The same thing will probably happen with his movie. Even if the movie is completed, it will probably go quickly to video after bombing in the theaters. There is one good thing that could come out of this movie - the mainstream media might expose Tucker's lies and perhaps the NY Times will do a piece on him, proving that Tucker is full of shit. Of course, the vast majority of America has never heard of Tucker, so there's a good possibility that the media (with the exception of Gawker) might not care enough to bother investigating Tucker's bogus stories.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUUIBJme-bg
ReplyDeletecheck out www.fuckermax.blogspot.com for more of the same...
ReplyDeleteDon't forget www.tuckermaxlies.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletehttp://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showpost.php?p=835927&postcount=522
ReplyDeleteAnd if you doubt me, that's cool. Stand in line behind all the other the doubters--the ones who said I couldn't be a writer, or my website couldn't be a book, or my book wouldn't be a best seller, or I couldn't write a movie, or I couldn't get that movie made, or I couldn't get the movie distributed, etc, etc, etc. They have been wrong every time in the past, and they will be wrong this time.
Tucker wrote the movie? I thought Nils wrote it while Tucker sat and clips his nails and offered false corrections to conjugations? Or was he just in charge of spelling words wrong on the title page? Either way, I'm sure his nails look great!
ha ha ha ha....great picture. Wow , what an irresistable stud tucker max is. bwahahahahahahahahahah
ReplyDeleteTucker wishes this were true:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.freestylereleasing.com/library.htm#i
Just check out the screw-up by Freestyle....
Freestyle is pretty much one of the worst distribution outlets in Hollywood. It's where you go when everybody else passes on your project. On top of it, they don't give the filmmakers a great deal, so Tucker's pretty much not going to be making ANY money on the backend of this film.
ReplyDeleteAlso, they are known for not being able (financially and otherwise) to promote their movies, which means there will not be any ads outside of maybe a trailer shown on some National Lampoon DVD.
Also, Freestyle has a lack of success. They were originally created to distribute Bob Yari films. Yari is bankrupt now after most all of his movies lost money, so now Freestyle has become a fall back distributor for low budget films that can't find a major or minor distributor. From what I understand, they're barely able to stay open right now.
I guess what's awesome is that Tucker's huge "revolutionary" plans about the movie are now in the dust. Freestyle won't be giving him or the production a great deal on a movie that nobody seemed to want in the first place. They now control the books and in Hollywood that's akin to making no more money for anybody else outside of the distribution company. In other words, Tucker won't be seeing a dime from this movie, he just doesn't have the juice.
Hence the "premier tour" in which he's probably hoping to make a few bucks that way.
ReplyDeleteHis best chance now may be to have IHTSBIH become a success so that his next movie will give him better deals.
First completely ludicrous comparisons to Twilight, and now Tucker says IHTSBIH is going to be bigger than The Hangover. Somehow I don't think the buzz of having directed Old School is very much less significant (as Mr. Max seems to be suggesting) than the buzz of having written IHTSBIH.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention the advertising blitz. I saw a lot of Hangover commercials, trailers in other movies and mentions during the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteThat ain't happening for IHTSBIH.
Tucker says:
ReplyDelete"Instead of some crappy plastic bag that you immediately through away, we are spending the money and getting one of those cool bags with strings on each side you can use as a backpack, like the ones you get at the Mac store, except even better quality (fabric instead of plastic). So even the bag itself is going to be usable."
OOH, EVEN THE BAGS ARE USABLE!!!! What a dipshit.
Don't tell Alpha Male Otto what real men want. He knows more about men and what they like than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteNo offense to the Hangover, but they gave the funniest guy in there, Zach Galifinakis, the shittiest role. I mean, he played the creepy weird guy really, really well, but if you've seen his stand-up you'd cry for the man. Then he'd cry into the millions of dollars they paid him to do the movie.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of millions of dollars to do a movie. I bet it would really suck to see the movie that you spent so much of your life's energy into suddenly appear for free on the internet. If the Hollywood model is correct - and seeing as it's just another bunch of Jews wandering around a man-made oasis in the middle of a natural desesert - Tucker's movie is going to be stripped of any profits he ever hoped to have in the first place.
Seriously, torrentreactor already has it up if you feel like paying for the service. I feel sorry for anyone paying $40 to see it as he travels through their towns, shitting himself on the way out.
My prediction is a 1-2 million opening weekend. Now he may get more in DVD sales, because if all 400k books that he sold buy the dvd he could gross 6-8 mil.
ReplyDeleteRegardless...I think this may be the final nail in the coffin and he will finally sink off to his mid-30s life maybe away from college campuses where he is featured as an older, creepy, out of shape guy.
Anyone take my advice and head over here from the old blog?
ReplyDeleteyes
ReplyDelete